An Emptiness – Friday Fictioneers

Friday fictioneers

Photo credit @Madison Woods

An Emptiness

Max lie awake, restless, the campfire crackling, sending sparks towards the clouded moon. He wondered about the new kid’s story, “Idiot, nearly got his self killed falling off a west bound.”

Max gathered stories and every hobo had one, it always came down to gnawing hunger. Truth be told, an empty belly wasn’t the only hunger that put a drifter on the rails but it sure enough would stick with ya.

“A man gets starved for permanence: a warm bed, a soft woman, a kid, anything that he can call his own; leaves ya with an emptiness that no amount of grub can fill.”

For more Friday Fictioneers visit @Rochelle Wiseoff-Fields here.

43 responses to “An Emptiness – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Tracey, Tell us the truth! you were a Hobo once weren’t you? How else can you potray with such precision what goes on in those hearts…

    Like

  2. I like the idea of Max collecting stories. Bet he got some good ones.

    Like

  3. Nice work Tracey!

    Like

  4. A darker side of the idea of Hobos. The lighter side being Leo Sayer’s “Long Tall Glasses (I Can Dance)”.

    Nice!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m glad to read about Max again. The hunger for a normal life is showing that emptiness clearly. Great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Very realistic-sounding story of hobos’ lives and wishes. Nice story!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Starved for permanence – a great image/concept. Lovely language all round.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I see what you mean by your comment on mine Tracey. πŸ™‚ Good one, the voice was very convincing.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great story Tracey! I loved it. It took me back to my childhood when “hobos” were prominent and of the stories I would hear about them. Very nostalgic!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My dad used to tell hobo stories. I think he had some family members who spent time riding the rails. It was quite common in the 20s & 30s. Your story put me right there.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I like the idea of them all telling stories around the campfire with the full moon and can see him staring up at it pondering it all. That is a terrible kind of emptiness. Well said and well told story.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Wow, the voice in this piece is pitch-perfect! Excellent job. You really captured the hobo life and mood.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I would imagine there are a great many stories hobo’s could tell.
    This reminds me of when I was a girl scout leader and we had backyard camping. The girls would make up stories that were entertaining and sometimes scary. Very enjoyable read, Tracey. Nicely done !!! 😎

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Timeless truth here. Loved the wistful tone.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Dear Tracey,

    You had me in the moment with Max. Great voice and descriptions. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  16. A moving portrayal of the deeper hunger the homeless must feel. It’s such a shame that in our modern, affluent society, we still have homelessness.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. You captured the scene beautifully. I hope Max gets chance to make some new stories πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  18. How clearly you remind us of all our hungers! And along with wanting something or someone to call our own – we hunger to feel we belong, and are empty when we have no sense of belonging.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Life is about collecting stories… some sad, others happy. Wonderful take!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. So many types of hunger, well said. Great story, Tracey!

    Liked by 1 person

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