It Should Matter

Photo Credit @Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Photo Credit @Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

It Should Matter

All the words that would never be said swirled down the drain. My pride went with them; grey and dirty and used. My shame was overshadowed by your reflection in the window. Tousled from the night you spent in my bed, not a hint of remorse, you lit a Marlboro with the monogrammed lighter: your initials intertwined with hers.

I suppose I should have asked. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

Did you lie or did I? I told you it didn’t matter. It does matter but the words are gone now and I hope you’ll go with them.

 
For more Friday Fictioneers go here.

58 responses to “It Should Matter

  1. I really like this – how you’ve used the drain and the window and the lighter to explain the story – really clever use of objects. And I like the repetition of I suppose. Just a couple of typos – the title just below the picture has ‘matters’ and I think it should be ‘matter’ and the same again in the last sentence.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fabulous ending – very poetic.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I liked the use of the objects too — how these huge sad emotions are tethered to reality by these mundane things she touches. Although “Did you lie or did I?” is my favorite line. Ouch.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the bitterness seeping out of this story.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “All the words that would never be said swirled down the drain” and “my pride went with them.” This piece excellently captures the sense of self-disappointment at one’s acts and behaviors. Even if he goes, she can’t get away from herself.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Beautifully done Tracey. The ‘swirling down the drain’ was a master stroke, making the encounter seems as tacky as she clearly thought it now. Typo ‘you lite’?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A woman scorned – even by herself. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Superbly sordid.
    My kind of story.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I agree with Sandra, should it not be lit instead of lite? I have to agree with everyone above. Superbly written and loved the “Did you lie or did I?” because we sometimes make choices we regret…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Great title for this dramatic monologue. Excellent writing here – it held me to the bitter end.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Great piece, I especially like the first two sentences.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. The image of the intertwined initials on the lighter is a powerful one. I like the subtlety of this story.
    Ω

    Liked by 1 person

  13. C-I wonder how we could have seen similar (but very different) stories in that image. First person is very effective, and so is the use of the drain. But what I really liked was the monogrammed lighter. And it really should matter.

    Like

  14. You’ve captured the reality of the illicit affair. No glamour, just remorse.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Did you lie or did I? That kind of ambivalent bitterness rings so true. Someone should be to blame. I like the use of “should” and “suppose.” No crits – sorry! Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Dear Tracey,

    This one’s a stomach twister. I love the way you used the words swirling down the drain. Very well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Lovely, lovely use of metaphors and words…

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I’m like Jimmy Carter, only guilty of lusting in my heart. But I think you painted this picture very well. The remorse and dirty feeling afterward can’t be washed off. Raging hormones have a one-track mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. This was very good on many levels – the remorse was captured well and the “did I lie or did you?” really shows the moral gray zone such relationships fall into. Well done story!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I think they both lied …
    I could feel her mixed emotions: confusion and disappointment.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. This week is full of peril for committed relationships! Your story is great and paints the sordid picture well.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. if only it’s that easy. the spirit might be willing, but the flesh is weak.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Wonderfully told. Her remorse and his lack of it come through strongly. Very thought-provoking.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. The sex drive often overpowers common sense.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I enjoyed the imagery your story brought.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Wow, Tracey! This is so powerful! Really edgy narrative and tight story. Really great!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Great uses of metaphor, Tracey. I could feel her disgust with herself. Well written. — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Yes, I think it’s best that he should go. Great use of descriptive details to set the scene – the lighter is a magical touch. Her voice is powerful – the regret and remorse come through strongly.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s