It Should Matter

Photo Credit @Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Photo Credit @Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

It Should Matter

All the words that would never be said swirled down the drain. My pride went with them; grey and dirty and used. My shame was overshadowed by your reflection in the window. Tousled from the night you spent in my bed, not a hint of remorse, you lit a Marlboro with the monogrammed lighter: your initials intertwined with hers.

I suppose I should have asked. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

Did you lie or did I? I told you it didn’t matter. It does matter but the words are gone now and I hope you’ll go with them.

 
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58 Comments Add yours

  1. I really like this – how you’ve used the drain and the window and the lighter to explain the story – really clever use of objects. And I like the repetition of I suppose. Just a couple of typos – the title just below the picture has ‘matters’ and I think it should be ‘matter’ and the same again in the last sentence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Clare. I liked the grittiness of the objects to match the adultery.
      At least my autocorrect is consistent whilst making me look stupid. ha ha

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bloggeuse says:

    Fabulous ending – very poetic.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. blondeusk says:

        My pleasure Tracey 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Joy Pixley says:

    I liked the use of the objects too — how these huge sad emotions are tethered to reality by these mundane things she touches. Although “Did you lie or did I?” is my favorite line. Ouch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Joy. Nothing like the reality of the next day coupled with the lies we tell ourselves – I’m guessing.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the bitterness seeping out of this story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I think most of the bitterness is directed inward.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. “All the words that would never be said swirled down the drain” and “my pride went with them.” This piece excellently captures the sense of self-disappointment at one’s acts and behaviors. Even if he goes, she can’t get away from herself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly my point Perry. Thank you for saying it so eloquently.

      Like

  6. Sandra says:

    Beautifully done Tracey. The ‘swirling down the drain’ was a master stroke, making the encounter seems as tacky as she clearly thought it now. Typo ‘you lite’?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you liked it Sandy. Typo be gone ! I looked at lite five times and could not figure out what was wrong. (I must have needed a Bud Lite, which is a terrible American beer.)

      Like

  7. Archon's Den says:

    A woman scorned – even by herself. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.

      Like

  8. ceayr says:

    Superbly sordid.
    My kind of story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m really glad that you like it. I’m trying to write out of my comfort zone. What’s next for me, murder or stories with the undead? Uh, probably not. 👼

      Like

  9. Dale says:

    I agree with Sandra, should it not be lit instead of lite? I have to agree with everyone above. Superbly written and loved the “Did you lie or did I?” because we sometimes make choices we regret…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think people lie to themselves all the time about things that really do matter. I banished the typo. Thanks Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Great title for this dramatic monologue. Excellent writing here – it held me to the bitter end.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Patrick. I can only imagine that bitter remorse.

      Like

  11. draliman says:

    Great piece, I especially like the first two sentences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like the dirty imagery and lost words. Thanks Ali.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. The image of the intertwined initials on the lighter is a powerful one. I like the subtlety of this story.
    Ω

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Allan. The lighter told the whole story. My character didn’t stand a chance against the permanence of the engraving. Although I don’t think she wanted a chance at a long term relationship. Isn’t it strange how a character can keep secrets from the author?
      Tracey

      Like

      1. It is strange how a character’s secrets can surprise an author. I learned that lesson this year in the NaNo challenge.
        Ω

        Liked by 1 person

  13. C-I wonder how we could have seen similar (but very different) stories in that image. First person is very effective, and so is the use of the drain. But what I really liked was the monogrammed lighter. And it really should matter.

    Like

    1. I wondered the same thing Bjorn. See my comments on your post.
      Yes, it matters.
      Thank you

      Like

  14. Jan Brown says:

    You’ve captured the reality of the illicit affair. No glamour, just remorse.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Amy Reese says:

    Did you lie or did I? That kind of ambivalent bitterness rings so true. Someone should be to blame. I like the use of “should” and “suppose.” No crits – sorry! Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ambivalent bitterness – what a great juxtaposition
      I plan to reuse that phrase some day.
      Thank you Amy. I treasure your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Dear Tracey,

    This one’s a stomach twister. I love the way you used the words swirling down the drain. Very well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m pretty proud of this writing and bonus – it is out of my comfort zone.
      Thank you for taking the time to always comment despite bring in the middle of the book launch of “From Silt and Ashes”.

      Like

  17. hugmamma says:

    Lovely, lovely use of metaphors and words…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by and for commenting.
      Tracey

      Liked by 1 person

  18. rgayer55 says:

    I’m like Jimmy Carter, only guilty of lusting in my heart. But I think you painted this picture very well. The remorse and dirty feeling afterward can’t be washed off. Raging hormones have a one-track mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had to use my imagination too.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. ansumani says:

    This was very good on many levels – the remorse was captured well and the “did I lie or did you?” really shows the moral gray zone such relationships fall into. Well done story!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I think they both lied …
    I could feel her mixed emotions: confusion and disappointment.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. erinleary says:

    This week is full of peril for committed relationships! Your story is great and paints the sordid picture well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wonder why a window would evoke failed relationships? Thanks Erin.

      Like

  22. plaridel says:

    if only it’s that easy. the spirit might be willing, but the flesh is weak.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Margaret says:

    Wonderfully told. Her remorse and his lack of it come through strongly. Very thought-provoking.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how flash fiction can say so much in so few words. Thank you

      Like

  24. liz young says:

    The sex drive often overpowers common sense.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes with dangerous consequences.
      Thanks for reading Liz.

      Like

  25. I enjoyed the imagery your story brought.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Wow, Tracey! This is so powerful! Really edgy narrative and tight story. Really great!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Dawn. I’m not sure where it came from but I wrote and posted without any revisions. It just flowed.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I LOVE when those posts happen! They are so magical.

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Great uses of metaphor, Tracey. I could feel her disgust with herself. Well written. — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Margaret says:

    Yes, I think it’s best that he should go. Great use of descriptive details to set the scene – the lighter is a magical touch. Her voice is powerful – the regret and remorse come through strongly.

    Liked by 1 person

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